Independence

Warning...this is not a funny post - it a this is what I was thinking today and wanted to put it out there. While I have dedicated about 98% of this blog to dating stories, I think it is important to see the whole me which includes my feelings...Don't worry, these serious blogs will be few and far between. While the dating pipeline is totally empty, there will be stories of crazy nights out on the town.
Do you think some people are meant to be with someone and and that there are people that are not meant to be with anyone. Can the person going through life without a companion really be happy?
I realized this week how much I resented my ex-h for holding me back. This is a very selfish statement - but I love being able to do what I want when I want to. I feel like I have always been this way and very much resented that my ex-h was so uptight and a total planner which limited my opportunities to do anything - not to mention the financial constraints. I am so happy with my life right now. It's far from perfect, but I can truly say that I am the happiest I have ever been, but today I had fears about the future (not the immediate future, but down the road).
On Wednesday, a friend called and said she would be in NYC this weekend and they had an extra spot for their dinner reservation, would I like to join them? So Wednesday night, I changed my travel plans and decided to go to NYC on Friday for the night. In my past life, I would have never been able to do that. I love the freedom associated with making decisions like that.
I had an amazing time last night and today - it was one of my favorite trips. BUT I started thinking, it won't always be like this. Right now I have an amazing group of friends most of who are married or at least dating, but don't have kids yet so they still go out, take trips, etc and it is nothing for me to tag along and we always have a fabulous time. One thing I am very thankful for is that I don't mind not having a date (most of the time anyway). However, today I came to the harsh realization that it won't be this way forever. Friends will begin having kids and their nights out and trips will become less frequent - their focus, as it should, will focus on their family and not on nights out to yummy restaurants and weekend trips. I am so excited where everyone is in their life, but it scared me. I know my friends will always be there, but our time together will change.

What if I am one of those people who is meant to be alone. I had my chance and love and it didn't work and that's it for me. Will my thrill of independence turn to loneliness as everyone in my life moves onto the next chapter and I am still in the same place??? Am I destine to sit a nice restaurant bars and eat by myself?